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His Wages
An artist was employed to
renovate and retouch some oil paintings in an old church in
Belgium, and on presenting his composite bill for $67.28,
was informed that an itemized statement was required. So the
following was duly presented:
For correcting the Ten
Commandments
...........................
.. $ 5.12
For renewing Heaven and
adjusting the stars
...........................
. $ 7.12
For touching up Purgatory and restoring the lost souls
........................... $ 3.06
For brightening up the flames of Hell, putting a new tail
on the Devil, and doing odd jobs for the
damne
.
............................... $ 7.17
For putting a new stone in David's sling and arranging Goliath's
head
...... $ 6.13
For mending the shirt of the
Prodigal Son and cleaning his ear
.
. $ 3.39
For putting a new ribbon on Pilate's bonnet
..............................
$ 3.02
.
For putting a new tail and comb on St. Peter's rooster
........................... $ 2.20
For re-gilding the left wing of the Guardian
An
.........................
.. $ 5.18
For putting carmine on the left cheek of the servant of the
High Priest
.. $ 5.02
For taking the spots off the son of Tobias
..........................
$10.30
For putting earrings in Sarah's ears
..........................
.. $ 5.26
For mending the roof of Noah's ark and putting a new head on
Shem
$ 4.31
Total
.......................
. $ 67.28
Please remit.
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Guilty
 A
PREACHER conducting a mission announced that he would speak the
next night on "Liars." The audience were requested to read up in
advance, the seventeenth chapter of St. Mark.
Next evening, before
opening, with piercing glance, he inquired how many people had
read the chapter suggested.
A score or so held up their
hands. At which he thundered: "You're the very persons I want to
talk to ‑ there isn't any seventeenth chapter of St. Mark."
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