Joseph L. Kagle, Jr. Peace Essays

Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!

When your mother gives you wisdom, it is best to write it down or it may be lost. Of course, if the wisdom is repeated over the years that is not necessary. This child-like statement was said to me when I was very young and repeated until I left the nest in Pittsburgh to explore the world. I have used it with my students. It is: “Keep it simple, Sweetheart” or KISS.

Child’s perspective best Dad’s Day gift one can get

  If you have a son or daughter, every day is Fa­ther's Day. But on this special day there are mo­ments which border upon the marvelous, the magical moment when a bond is re-established and hums with a special electricity.

     As many of my readers know, my son is mentally. retarded. We adopted him from Korea at the age of 14 months. The other day I took him to get a book of passes on the Waco Transit bus system. He will never drive a car, although we tried that several times before his and my frustration met at a middle point. He now rides the bus.

   I told him to go in and buy 10 passes for $7.50. He came out happy that he had done this all on his own. It was only later that we found out that he had written the check for $75.

   My wife and he rushed down to the transit station. The lady behind the desk said that she had accepted the check after she had him change the amounts and initial the changes. As a father, it is good to know that others in the community look after my son.

    On another day, it was a week's grocery bill for $130 dollars (which would give him food for at least 3-4 weeks). It should have been for one week since he is taken to shop each week. He is trying to learn how to budget his living expenses by himself.

      The week before the grocery bill was under $15 and he was hungry several days near the end of that week. I am sure that is why he overbought the next time. We are refrigerating some of his finds so that he will not be hungry later in the month.

     The knowledge of money and daily living is not coming swiftly to my son, if at all. He gets angry when we tell him to clean out his desk because of the judgment it takes to decide what to keep and what to throw away:

     Each day, I pick him up and he says, "How's things going?" It is his way of saying "I love you." He smiles and we work on some project together. He is young and strong, and I am willing to let him help.  He wants to work but does not have a job now.  After three years of successful labor at the now closed Montgomery Ward's, he is without a job.

    I help him with the frustration of “every two weeks” phone report to the automated receiving station of the Texas Work Force Commission.  Every questions has many answers.  “Have you worked at any job from the period of …?  If yes, press 1, if no, press 2, if you wish the question repeated, press star.”

  Sometimes I help because he cannot remember every name. He does this patiently, whereas when I help my frustration at the cumbersome process is obvious.  By his actions, he teaches me a lesson in humility.

    With my advanced degree in academics, I still cannot fathom the depth of a bureaucratic system where the government is claiming that it helps you when in fact it dehumanizes you.  My son accepts the world as it is because he does not know any other way to approach the world.

  The redeeming part of the process for me is to see through his eyes where people are not black, white, red, yellow or any other racial color. People are good and helpful, like the lady at the Waco Transit Authority; or just are, like the automated system of answering the questions for unemployment compensation.      

    He missed four weeks of aid because he did not call another number when they sent him a letter which he did not understand. Did he complain? No, He took that too as part of the way that the world works.

  Does he understand the world as I know it? No. But in that non-understanding there are lessons for this father and us all to learn.

   Love is returned when love is given. Thanks is returned for those who give a helping hand.  Every day I learn a little about the world through his eyes. It is not my world but it is important to see it.

   It is the lesson that my father tried to teach me and I am still learning. KISS: Keep it simple; Sweetheart.

Maybe the secret of finding peace is in my mother’s words, except in today’s world, we would change it to “Keep it simple, Stupid.” Yes, “stupid” is the word. I found this out when I mixed greed for money with the search for knowledge. They do not go together.

 That’s my final answer

Think you can win “Millionaire”?  Try passing the entrance test

New York- When it come to watching quiz show, I’ve always want to test my brain against the system.  This is what brought me here.

    Or maybe it was winning the $1 million.

    It has been years and years in which I have said, “I know those answers,” But the show that has caused me to hop on a plane is “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.”

     I set out to become a contestant, starting the process a year ago.  While waiting for my chance, I studied books like All you Never Wished To Know About Trivia.  Each time I watched the show I would confidently answer all the questions until they got above the $64,000 level.  At night on the computer, I played the game for hours, honing my skills, getting to a million several times.

    When tickets for the show finally came through the mail, I said, “Why not?”  I paid the money for the airfare and booked a room on 72^nd street ABC studios are on 67^th.

My wife and I took a taxi ($25) from LaGuardia Airport to our Manhattan hotel.  The instructions with the tickets said to arrive by 12:15 pm for the audition.

     We thought that we were early when we arrived at 11:15pm.  The line was halfway up the block.  Behind us was a couple who had taken the test six times.

     A man who passed it once told me that is was 30 multiple-choice questions taken in 10 frantic minutes.

     He was right about the “frantic” part.  The questions were nothing like those asked on the show.  They were much more difficult.  Pop culture and current television show are not my strength.  When finished, I figured that I knew about 80 percent of the answers.  Two hundred contestants took the test.  And 200 followed that afternoon.  The audience for the two daily shows is 95 percent contestants.

  A comedian warmed us up, stating that the one word for the production was “laughter”.  This “laugh-a-moment” man taught us how to applaud louder that normal (since the studio soaks up the sound), how frequent to join our hands in double time and when to politely stop.

     To keep us on task, t-shirts were thrown to and at us at each of the seven breaks in the two episodes.  Additionally, we were arranged between the two shows so that we looked like a new batch of interested excited viewers.  This show will be seen on Jan 30^th.

     At the end of the second show (to keep us there as an audience), the names of people passing the written test were read.  I did not make the cut.  Only 10 out of 200 did.  Of those 10, maybe five would be placed on a waiting list.

     The precious, privileged few are then examined for energy and quirkiness.  Even after the written test, the verbal interview, and the placement on the waiting list, there was no assurance on would make it to the”hot seat".

     Now, I understand who on “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire” the $100 to $1000 questions are so easy.  It costs that much just coming to New York City for the audition.

     The final question is: "Would I try again?"

     No, it is out of my system, but I never would have forgiven myself if I had not tried once.

    If you are interested, I would recommend at least three years of intense New York Times crossword puzzles to prepare and Valium for the written test.

At least it is still a KISS.